tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22391995587058807242024-03-13T06:22:43.111-07:00akoustik burukRen Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-83742214486583633952017-09-01T11:55:00.002-07:002017-09-01T11:55:27.854-07:007.<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I saw your picture last night, on Facebook.</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hated it. I hated the surge of memories that came lashing afterwards. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We had a blast, 7 years ago. You were my safety net. My mausoleum of peace. Everything that we talked about, our shares of laughs, your willingness of hearing me every time I was feeling dejected.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was a train-wreck, that time. And still are.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thinking about that time, you were the only person I can trusted, wholeheartedly. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And you were so good at keeping the boundaries between us, not letting me or you passing through that thin line of emotion.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We were never a pair. Never a lover to each other. But truest of friends nonetheless. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The purest friendship I ever felt.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">How you kept pulling me back from the abyss of depression I put myself into. How you consoled my suicidal thoughts each and every night. Asking about my rough and wrong and splendidly helped me thrive. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And you did all of that without a slightest strings of pity.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You never pitied me. And I was eternally grateful.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But we drifted apart. I'm honestly sorry.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I let my thoughts reigned me over a couple of years, and I pushed everybody away. I'm sorry you were caught in that.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And when I saw your picture last night, I broke. I'm happy. I was devastated. I don't know. Even I don't know about myself.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You are happy now. You got married. What a lovely daughter you have, she looks just like you.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm thoroughly happy seeing you happy. Back then I thought I was incapable of feeling such thing.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But you are the one who taught me to, and you never realized.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You meant a world to me.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Even we never talked anymore, I just want you to know that I'm okay.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have someone by my side now. She's my go-to place now. She helps me just like you did. She stays with me through thick and thin. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The only different was I love her, and she loves me too.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm strong because of your guidance. And I'm stronger now with her love.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So this is me letting you go.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for being a part of me.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I will always miss you. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-78398428121382033352016-05-22T11:13:00.004-07:002016-05-22T11:13:53.841-07:006.<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been badgered by an anonymous number, past few days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've texted back, a bunch of times, stating that he/she got a wrong number. But the calls won't stop.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Then, one day I picked it up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Beloved."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">*****</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It has been a while, since the last I've heard that voice from the other end of the phone. And suddenly it came rushing back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Her voice. Her scent. Her figures came into my mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Alongside all the memories I thought I had buried a long time ago, all came rushing back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It blackened my sense, for a moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">*****</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">How can a simple call, a mere simple word drags me back into this solemn, lonely hell?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And here I am typing inside a cheap hotel room, besides her naked body sleeping soundly, contemplating on my old blog.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Nonetheless, the sex was good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes, running back to the past does hold its perks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-46681142276860432152015-07-08T08:55:00.001-07:002015-07-08T08:55:48.186-07:005.I was riding down the open way last night, when this ancient screamer bolted past me like there was no tomorrow.<br />
<br />
A surge of thought hit me.<br />
<br />
If I was the old me, I'd twist my throttle hard, trying to catch up to that bike.<br />
<br />
But there I was, cruising at the street limit without giving a damn. Without minding to push my bike to go fast. To ride alongside the wind like I used to.<br />
<br />
I don't really know what is happening to me.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm getting old faster than I realize.Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-13344875744738491402015-06-02T11:18:00.000-07:002015-06-02T11:18:00.882-07:004."So I met this young gentleman the other at a club..."<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Stop it," I told her, "you met him <i>at a club</i>. That's no gentleman."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She turned her head and gazed at me. Eyes still red, reeks of alcohol maybe from last night party, I wildly guess.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Your standard of gentleman is impossible, for fuck's sake. Then how am I supposed to find a good man, huh?". </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She kept her hollow gaze at me whilst I'm finishing my morning coffee, trying my best to ignore her.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"First, you should stop hanging at clubs," solemnly I replied, "bitch."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Fuck you, Ren." </div>
Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-51086446878700773062015-05-19T23:47:00.000-07:002015-05-20T01:10:38.559-07:003."You seems rather at unease. What's with that look?"<br />
<br />
I exhaled a small puff of vapor, organizing my reply carefully inside my head.<br />
<br />
"No one talks like that anymore," I answered, avoiding her question altogether, "not like that, no."<br />
<br />
She smirked.<br />
<br />
"Jerk."Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-51818134773922618832015-05-18T23:09:00.002-07:002015-05-19T23:40:04.059-07:002.<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's raining.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The universe is wicked in some way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Making a gloomy day like this, gloomier.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been running away from formalities of all sorts since forever. My wedding was a simple gesture, I didn't attend my college graduation ceremony, and been avoiding all of my friends solemnization invitation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But there I stood earlier this day besides my close friend's grave. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Grieving.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I always hated the emotional queue in formalities. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You have to smile and be happy for the bride and groom in their wedding, even you hardly spoke to them before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You have to keep a straight manner in graduation ceremony, even it was the day you presumably to be happy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But this mourning felt... so warm.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe I took a wrong turn somewhere in the past, I missed a whole lot I not know of.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Rest in peace, my dear friend. My prayer will always be with you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2239199558705880724.post-59190468653250861612015-04-25T14:07:00.003-07:002015-04-25T14:07:42.023-07:001.<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">While holding</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">to your promises</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">endlessly,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been wanting</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">to say I am</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">sorry,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'll miss you more</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">than I'll ever</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">be.</span></div>
Ren Razalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05315687985811587761noreply@blogger.com0